Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
so i was looking up my polling place info to make sure it hasn’t changed since last year. i found out brazoria county (where i live) is going to electronic voting machines this year (we had been using the chad system. yes. the chad system. seriously.) this really is going to make things a whole lot easier. i won’t have to go to oran roberts school and risk being ridiculed by elementary school kids to vote. i’ll be able to hack into the system from work. and not only that, since i know what is best for everyone i can vote for everyone. this will save manhours at offices all over the country. it will be a boon for the economy and the war will probably end. in the future nov 7th will be known as rich kimball day. richard bruce kimball junior highs will spring up all over the country. there will be a 51st star added to the american flag with a little digital image of me. the super bowl will be known as the rich kimball bowl. the rose bowl will be known as the rich kimball rose bowl. the los angeles angels of anaheim will change their name to the los angeles kimballs of anaheim. sean penn will star as me in a movie of my life. sean coombs will hold me in the same regard as he holds jesus christ and biggie smalls. dude, i may even get sainted for this.
Time, I absolve myself of your vow to vanquish me.